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Sound Family Relationship is the basis for sound social fabric ؛ Hadith (8)

Sound Family Relationship is the basis for sound social fabric ؛ Hadith ( 8 )/ محمد لهلال

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Sound Family Relationship is the basis for sound social fabric

Hadith ( 8 )

 

On the authority of ‘Aisha, God be pleased with her, the Messenger, peace and blessings be upon him, says: “The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family. When one dies speak of no ill of him”. This hadith was transmitted by Tirmidhi and Darimi.

Meanings and Lessons

 

  • The fact that this hadith is reported by ‘Aisha, God be pleased with her, is of great significance, as she is the Prophet’s wife, so she is the closest person to track every detail of the Prophet’s household conduct and manners. And when the Messenger, peace and blessings be upon him, underscores he is the best to his family, it means that every married couple seeking success and excellence in treating each other and promoting marital relationships, the perfect model remains the Messenger, peace and blessings be upon him.
  • The highly acclaimed person is the one who is good to his family. The hadith does not say to his community or nation or whatever affiliation, but to “his family”. One might look merciful, lenient, resilient and cooperative outside, in his/her neighborhood and workplace, but once back home, he/she would morph into a violent, selfish, bad-tempered person with one’s spouse and children. So, it is at home where one can test one’s temperament and manners.
  • The stability and goodness of the household begins right before marriage. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, direct us to choose our spouse by the standard of faith, not money, nor physical beauty, nor social status. If all these four parameters combine in a spouse, it would then be a real gift from God, but anyway the most decisive component is faith.
  • Religiosity of the married couple is not confined to appearances, and once challenges transpire, the couple expose the worst of their inside. The word “Islamic commitment” widespread among the Islamic mainstream movement means nothing if it is predicated mainly on appearance and not character. And the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, accords primary importance to a Muslim believer’s refined character because acquiring it entails lifelong fight against one’s base ego and desire through balanced education, and because the outcome would benefit both the couple and their kids.
  •  The marital life should not focus only on the set of rights and duties for each spouse. This legal approach alone cannot build sustainable relationships. If we want to model on the Prophet’s conduct in the household, we should understand first that the environment in which his family lives was that of compassion, love, mutual forgiveness, patience and respect. And this is the fruit of how near we are to God, Exalted is He, and how sincere we are in seeking the higher stations of faith: God’s pleasure.
  •  Child sound upbringing is also related to how healthy is the household environment. Muslim parents, particularly the mother must be aware of how crucial is her role in safeguarding the child’s fitra (inner faith) by inculcating in his/her heart and mind faith in God and the core Islamic manners, not by coercion but by methods of leniency, compassion and love. If the parents care for their child’s nutrition, clothing, and schooling, this should not eclipse their role of education on Islamic virtues which are today fiercely fought in our societies. This a hard task, but the parents have no choice, otherwise they would lose the dearest opportunity in their life to leave their offspring benefit them with Du’a’ (supplication) and benefit their society once they pass away.
  • The end of the hadith guides us to preserve a person’s dignity and honor after death. In Islam, we are advised not to defame or deride a Muslim once he/she passes away, particularly if he/she is a relative. We should ask mercy for them and draw lessons for ourselves.
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